It's a….

With the sad things happening lately, I'm pretty excited for a happy post! And even more excited to announce that It's a GIRL! WHAT?! Yeah, you read that right, we are having a baby! And by having, I mean getting, and by baby, I mean puppy. (Had you going for a second didn't I?  We aren't THAT crazy)

For about a month after the Big Bad happened with Griz, I didn't want anything to do with other dogs, (other than Oscar of course) I didn't want to see them, hear about them, be near them.  I wasn't even sure I wanted another dog ever again because I didn't want to go through losing them again.  That didn't last long, it just switched one day and I wanted to be near ALL dogs, and I wanted to take every single one home.

We decided perhaps in the spring we would get a puppy, and decided we wanted a Labrador/Golden Retriever mix.  So I started looking for a breeder (because I'm crazy and was not blessed with patience) but couldn't find one, we got some $$ for Christmas and decided to save it for when we found the right dog.  Then my grandpa passed… and to think of something else I became OBSESSED.  Then on Sunday I found listing in Oregon for half English Golden Retriever and half Lab (English goldens are whiter and have a blockier head), I showed the pics to Ryan King and he was like DONE! He really wanted a girl (I was a little iffy about it, because I've always had boys, but whatevs PUPPY!!!)

Anywho, to make a long story just a smidge shorter, the last weekend of January we will be roadtrippin to Oregon to pick up our little Bailey! We are super excited (you can't tell can you, I mean its not like I've already ordered dog tags, obviously Oscar needed a matching one, or anything…)

We are ready for the difficulties and trials of having a puppy (house training in the rain in February? BRING IT ON!) But we are also ready for the love and excitement and cuddles.  We still miss our Griz so much, but we also know we are a 2 dog kind of family. Perhaps someday we will rescue a dog again, but right now, we just need to start fresh with a puppy, and we are! EEK! PUPPY!

Little Bailey, go ahead, adore her… you know you want to.

This is a random picture of Oscar when he was a puppy, why you ask?
Why not? I mean look at him, you can't get much cuter.

Sawyer loves ALL dogs, and has zero dog fear, even of my brother's giagantasouras dog (what? its a word) Also, I super love Kona and we are best friends, especially since Kennedy and I took him on a Christmas jog… he only pulled me the first few blocks, so yay!

Also Sawyer will not be able to fit in Oscars kennel much longer, so it will be good we are getting a bigger one for Bailey, just kidding... she did this to herself, she actually usually only crawls in when Oscar is in there and she misses him, I have no idea why she is in and he is out here, they are weird.

But they also love each other lots and snuggle all the time, the girls are also super excited for Bailey and keep asking to see her picture.  Well Sawyer just says "PUPPY!!" but, I'm just assuming that's happy excitement.



I don't have any good recent pics of Harper with dogs… so please enjoy this randomness of HW in her ballet outfit
(her first ballet/tap class is Monday and we were testing out the cuteness… cutest little ballerina ever?  Probably)

This One's for You, Grandpa Ron...

It feels like I just wrote one of these doesn't it?  Last Monday my Grandpa Ron fell and broke his hip.  He went through surgery alright, got transferred to a rehab place, and even though he was kind of foggy, seemed to be doing a bit better, so my Mom went ahead and came out here for Christmas.

Then yesterday my mom and I were trying to figure out our morning before I took her to the airport and she got saw a missed call and found out that Grandpa had to go the hospital because of possible pneumonia.  Saddly, within a few hours he passed.  It happened so fast, I still don't think it has set in yet.  I wish he had waited another day so that his children could have said good-bye, but I am so thankful that my sister was there with him, and her husband was there with her.  I'm even more thankful I got to see him just a few weeks ago and also got to say good-bye over the phone just a minutes before he was gone.  It was all such a whirlwind.

I don't think Grandpa Ron ever realized how special he was to so many people.  He was pretty quiet, sometimes kinda grumpy, but also unintentionally funny.  I remember the pies he'd bring when I was younger, he had diabetes and couldn't eat them, so he'd just make them and bring them to our house.  I also remember the white bowl always out that usually had nuts and if you were lucky MMs in it.  In fact, it was on his coffee table a few weeks ago when we were visiting him, I couldn't resist opening the lid, sadly it was empty.  My fondest memories of him were when I was in college and every time I went to Monroe I'd make sure to go see him in Reasoner and I'd just sit and listen to him tell stories.  He loved to talk about the past, old cars, stories of my Grandma (she passed a long time ago, and they were divorced long before that, but I think he always held a special love for her), people he knew who knew famous historical figures (like Wyatt Earp).  You just had to take the time to listen.

Most times when I'd go, his furniture would be rearranged, I'd tell him that he needed to stop and that if he just called me, I'd come help me, but if there is one work to describe my Grandpa, it would be stubborn!  But he just really loved moving furniture...  In both those ways I am like him, I've been told a time or two that I'm slightly a little stubborn, but also, I constantly move around our furniture, especially when I am sad.  Since I had just rearranged the girls' and our bedroom after Griz passed, yesterday afternoon I rearranged the play room, I didn't even realize it until I was done, and that was when it hit me a little, that he was gone.

Even though I'm sad, I know he was not happy, he was strong and proud, and miserable the last couple of years.  So, I'm glad he is no longer in pain, I'm glad he just went to sleep, I hope he knows that we all loved him. He didn't want a funeral, and because of Ryan's work, I can't fly home.  All of his children are going to say good-bye to him today, and most fittingly, go to Burger King.  He went there every day, and I have had countless lunches with him there.  I think tonight, we'll go get a Whopper for you Grandpa, I miss you already!

This has always been one of my favorite photos and we even have it up in our hall, I just love everything about it!

Weren't my Grandpa and Grandma dreamy?

I super love how excited everyone in this photo is.  Just kidding, I have no idea what's going on here...

Harper and Grandpa eating at Burger King! He always had a soft spot for the girls.

Harper's Christmas Program!

Last night, we went to the first of many Christmas Programs.  And it was super adorable.  The 5 year olds did a super cute pageant, the 4 year olds joined them to sing songs, then the 3 year olds joined them to ring some bells.  More importantly, all the children looked adorable, even Sawyer Belle got in on the dress action thanks to Granny Ronna.

 

please excuse the teacher's head

After the program, there were cookies which resulted in running sugar high children (also Beckett, who get very lovey when he is sugar high)

Quinn even came because he is such a wonderful friend!

annnd... CRASH!

Good Bye My Sweet Boy

Fair warning: if you are a softy, or don't feel like being a little sad, probably you should not read this, but I kinda feel like I have to get it out, ya know?

First I want to thank everyone for their messages and love and prayers, I really do appreciate it.  I apologize for not responding, I'm just processing as best as I can, unfortunately, that means shutting down.  If I did respond to you, and it was curt and not Lonnie-like and made you feel awkward, once again, sorry.

Wednesday was a busy day, I had some work to get through, Lincoln came over for a bit, and then I decided to run to one more store to find a couple last things to get for the girls costumes.  I decided to go super fast with the girls after Lincoln left as to beat the traffic.  As I was driving down the road, I had a momentary thought that I couldn't remember if I put the gate to the kitchen, but there was no chocolate or anything I could remember and I really was in a hurry.  I didn't remember the bag of pirate booty I had gotten out for the kids to eat, even if I did remember it, I don't know if I would have turned around, Griz has gotten so many bags of things off the counter, its an almost everyday occurrence.  I should have remembered, I should have turned around.

I got home, after a few minutes realized that Griz was not waiting in the window, I figured I'd shut him in the bedroom and forgot, I wish I did.  I found him and instantly started my frustrated rant  when I realized he had the bag of pirate booty, until I realized it was on his head, and he wasn't moving.  In a split second I processed what happened, I processed that there was a vet hospital just down the road and maybe, just maybe they could save him, and I processed that I was home alone with my girls, and that was not something they needed to go through.  So, I shut the door, scream cried called Ryan, scream cried called Natasha (who instantly went into best friend gear and took control, getting off work as quickly as she could, getting Cortney over as quickly as she could, then took care of things, saw things and dealt with thing she shouldn't had to have, and baby sitting me for 2 mornings after, I hope I can figure out a way to repay her). Then I cried called my sister, anything to not deal with what was happening.  The sight of him, that moment I realized he was gone, I relive every time I close my eyes, that and the guilt that I could have prevented it by just turning around.  It is excruciating, the reasonable part of me knows, that really, its not my fault, I couldn't have known, it was a freak accident, but the reasonable part of me is getting beat into submission by the frantic "What did I do!?!" part.

The Girls:
My beautiful strong girls are taking this so much better than I am, when I was just sobbing and screaming on the floor, the girls gave me so many kisses and loves, Harper asked if Grizzy had run away, I told her he was gone, she looked sad for a second, and then told me she was so sorry, which she repeated numerous times since.  The day after the first thing she said to me was that she missed him, but that's it. Sawyer loved him so much, but I think she is just to little to understand, and for that I am glad, I am also so relieved they didn't see him.

Oscar:
There are moments when he seems a little sad, but he has not been out of my sight since this happened, he has gone everywhere with me.  I actually just left him home alone for the first time, he survived, I almost didn't.  He is officially a spoiled single dog.

The Silence:
My boy, was a massive pain in the butt.  He was always trying to steal food, no matter what I did.  Always figuring out ways to get stuff off the counter, sometimes even getting around the gate we put up.  Barking at all the things, hating all other dogs.  At night he grunted, snored, had dreams, sometimes would wake me up with a cold nose in face, just to make sure all was good.  The nights are the hardest, the silence is deafening.  

Moving On:
We will ok, someday the grief and guilt won't consume me.  The hardest part, is that for 6 years, I have gone through everything with Griz, he always knew if I just needed him to sit by my side, if I just needed to hold on to him and clutch him to me, or if I needed his goofy wiggle snuggles to make me smile, I find myself trying to hug pillows, the girls, Oscar, anything to fill the void in my arms.  Someday, Ryan won't have to be my rock, even though he is also grieving, he has been amazing, and I don't know what I would do without him.

I'll go jogging again some day, not in the woods, it was our place.  But we ordered a jogger for me to push the girls and Oscar, and I will drive us all to a different spot, it will not be the same, but maybe it will still be okay.

 Today, the girls and I left the house, I acted as normal as I could, everyday will get a bit easier, I hope.  I'm sure that to people who didn't know him, people who didn't know how much a huge part of our family he was, I'm being dramatic, but I'm sure some of you will get it.

To My Handsome Beast:
I. Am. So. Sorry.  I can't even begin to explain how bad I feel.  You were my best friend, my constant companion, my partner in crime, if the puppy love of your life is a thing, you were mine, you were, the most special of dogs.  I hope you didn't know what was happening.  I hope you were not scared.  I hope you were not in any pain.  I hope all dogs do go to Heaven, and you are running through the woods, swimming with the ducks, eating all you want without us yelling at you to leave it.  At the very least I hope you are at peace.  I really hope you know how much we loved you. 

Taken today this morning, I smiling Sawyer Belle with Oscar, who wouldn't look at me because he loves his new toy.

Ocean Shores

So, after Maisen and family were all settled back home.  Heather and I packed up the kids in the van and we road tripped it to Ocean Shores.  I learned 3 things on this trip.

1.  I still hate road trips, even if they are less than 3 hours long.
2.  2 adults, 3 kids 4 and under, and one pre-teen (do NOT call Tristan a kid, he is a tween, or something!), does not make for a relaxing trip to the ocean
3.  Even though I super love the ocean, I super hate sand, seriously its dirty, it gets everywhere and it never goes away!

We still managed to have some good, times, the kids got to play in the sand and the ocean, we got to eat at Gallaway Bay,  go swimming, fly kites (not the stunt kite though, because Sawyer was also cutting some serious teeth and did a lot of scream-crying if I wasn't carrying her, carrying child and stunt kite flying do NOT coincide gracefully my friends).

Best of all the girls and I got to spend some quality time with Heather and Tristan and Braedon!

Tristan was so good and sweet with Harper and Sawyer, so cute!

Sand! Dirt!

getting a good picture of all 4 of them is pretty much impossible

So excited to be at the ocean! (notice the crazy kid in the back ground splashing in the freezing water? Yup... That'd be Braedon)

She just realized she was wet and sandy.

They were excited to play in the sand... I was having a slight panic attack.

Don't eat her!  I'm just kidding... its just a store, stop the craziness.

 

Is this a smile? A grimace?  I don't know!

When we got back, we got to celebrate Heather's birthday with the Robbins! Yay! Happy Birthday Heather Michelle!

Welcome Maisen Elle!

Last week was so crazy and packed full of family fun!  I'm going to do my best to blog about all of the things, so lets start off with the craziest part, shall we?

Sunday afternoon my sister Heather and her boys Tristan and Braedon arrived on their long-anticipated visit from Iowa!  Yayy!  We took it easy and just chilled that night which is good, because we had a bit of an early wake up call on Monday morning.

4:30 a.m.  I am actually sound asleep, which is crazy, I am the lightest of sleepers, but I slept right through my phone buzzing.  So Ryan wakes up with a drowsy... "Check your phone, Cherie's water broke, Eric is calling you".  Then the crazy nugget just went back to sleep. WHAT?! Stop the sleeping, wake the children, a baby is coming!!  I literally hopped out of bed, instantly awake, and prepared for the arrival of Lincoln who would be staying with us until Cherie and the baby (gender still unknown at this point) leave the hospital. 

Heather and Braedon awoke in time to see off Eric, Kennedy, Kenzie and the now laboring Cherie, wish them luck and send them off to the hospital.  Heather and I proceeded to take care of 4 kids 4 and under (Ryan went to work) for the rest of the day, with some help from Tristan.  We even took them all to Fred Meyer (I wouldn't suggest trying it).

Finally at 4:46 pm, little Maisen Elle arrived (a girl! what?!) That night I took little Lincoln to meet his sister, truth be told, he was more interested in the fun things in the hospital room than the teeny tiny adorableness that is his baby sister.  (I then took him and Kenzie and Kennedy back to my house for the night to give Eric and Cherie some alone time with the new baby, 10 people, one super small packed house... fun times!)

Welcome to the world lil Maisen, we are so excited to meet you!!

Nothing like a little 5am tea party.

We needed to keep those kids busy while waiting for the baby to arrive.

She's here!!! Maisen Elle Robbins.

The only shot I was able to get with Lincoln and Maisen.

Look at the tiny-ness!

Kennedy holding her sister for the first time.

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

Except we did!  So maybe not the best title for this post, but I couldn't think of another song with waterfalls in it, also, who doesn't love some TLC?

Harper saw a waterfall on Little Einsteins and ever since then, has been talking about them.  If we can, we like to let her actually experience what she sees on TV, it a little bit makes us feel better about letting her watch TV. And Ryan was in a weird spontaneous mood this weekend (Saturday we braved Chuck E Cheese for the first time ever, Harper LOVED it, Sawyer wanted to just go home and take a nap, after about an hour, I just wanted to go home and take a nap).  Anywho after we were all awake on Sunday, Ryan was like "Lets just drive to Snoqualmie Falls, right now." And we did, we threw on some clothes, piled in the sexy King Van, and off we went!

Harper was a little scared, but also a little loved it.  Sawyer is rarely scared, and kept trying to stick her foot and face through the bars so she could get closer (also so she could give me a heart attack).

She was pretty excited about the waterfall. Also super cute.

UGH!  Don't you just want to smoosh her face with thousands of kisses?

Alright, smoosh both of the faces

She was just trying her gosh darndest to fit her little face through those bars!

I LOVE this one, I don't know why, I just do!

I didn't actually read what this is.. but I thought it was a good photo opp.

I did actually take a few of the actual waterfall, not just of my children's faces