Monday, October 6, 2014

Contentment

LOOK! A blog post!!  I know, its been so long, to be fair, I write about a blog post or two in my head every time I run... they just never make it out of my head.  Right now? I'm procrastinating... so I'm gonna write this one down.

Content doesn't sound like a magical word, not a whole lot of kids want to grow up to be "content" and I can't think of a single fairy tale that ends in "and they lived contentedly ever after".

Right now, I'm in a unique position, as so many of my family and friends are going through life changing moments.  Every single one of my friends, the wonderful ladies who have all banded together to do life together, help raise our children, have either had a baby in the last 6 months or are pregnant.  Oddly I only feel a little twinge, not jealousy, just reminiscent, there is no more magical, terrifying, at times uncomfortable feeling than growing life, growing family, growing love for this tiny human.  I'm lucky enough to be able to watch as they glow and grow, usually from behind, as I've had to stop to tell my 4 year old to "drop the 'tude and do what mommy tells you" or my two year old "I know you like to run and climb and jump and you are fearless, but mommy is not and you are scaring the pickles out of me... also please remove your finger from your nose"... not quite so magical.

But Ryan and I are so thrilled with our girls and our family, those two beautiful girls have such a wonderful bond and love, they squabble as siblings will, but they will always choose to be together rather than apart, and also... we are at the most magical of times, where both of them are potty trained (Hallelujah!). Also, we seem to be at a wonderful place in our marriage, where we enjoy spending time together, we've grown closer and love each other more now than the day we got married, and I couldn't ask for more.

With Granny being around more and helping out so much with the girls, I've been able to take more of a focus on my work, be able to delve into it.  I can once again enjoy the design process and be proud of the work I am doing.  Not just do it for monitory gain, but because I want to, because it can be fun and interesting and I am creating things that I didn't know possible.  I'm able to take a breath and see what I want to do and where I want to go, the goals I want to achieve, and I'm able to prepare myself for the triumphs and failures, and learn from them.  And it is a wonderful place to be.

We have worked hard for our home, and love it.  Not just a house or a dwelling, but a home.  There are so many things to be done, but we are enjoying doing them, we are not in a rush.  We are taking our time as we make this quirky house ours.

I feel like we are climbing our mountain, but we've found this ledge that we've paused at.  We can sit and watch our friends and family as they climb their own mountains, and cheer them on from our stationary ledge.  We can look down and marvel at how far we've come.  We can look up, and appreciate how far we have yet to go.  This may not be the most exciting or thrilling times in our lives, but we are enjoying it nonetheless. Once we start climbing again, LOOK OUT! Because you never know what we will accomplish, but for right now, we are so amazingly, blissfully, content.

con·tent1
kənˈtent/
adjective
1
in a state of peaceful happiness.

noun
1.  a state of satisfaction.